Work and Live in United Arab of Emirates وظائف خالية بالامارات ، تاشرة عمل الامارات
lovelessons sends a teddy
الأربعاء، 27 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
| ||
| ||
|
George Bush
الأحد، 24 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
|
YOUR PENDING PAYMENT
- - 0 Comments
THE UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION
In Conjunction with the International Monetary Fund
WORLD BANK FACT-FINDING & SPECIAL DUTIES OFFICE
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.
Dear Beneficiary,
The United Nations' Fact Finding & Special Duties Office, hereby receives your payment with reference number #.UNO/WBO/LM-09-504 amounting to US$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States Dollars) with accrued interest. This office was set up to fight against scam and fraudulent activities worldwide, responsible for investigating the legitimacy of unpaid contract, inheritance and lotto winning claims by companies and individuals and directs the paying authorities worldwide to make immediate payment of verified claims to the beneficiaries without further delay, your said payment is being arranged in a Security-proof box weighing 75kg padded with synthetic nylon (US$100 Bills). According to information gathered from the bank's security computer we were notified that you have waited long enough to receive this payment without success, we also confirmed that you have met all statutory requirements in respect of your pending payment.
This is to congratulate you and officially inform you that your over due payment has been approved for immediate payment by direct cash delivery in your country.
This new method of payment was personal approved because of the fraudulent practices going on in our Apex Bank and most of our Global Payment Centers which have failed to carry out their duties effectively. All you need to do now is to forward immediately the following information:
1) Your Full name and delivery address
2) Direct phone number (Cell phone preferably) and fax number (If any)
3) Age, Sex and Occupation (For application process of the Non residential Tax papers)
Before the departure of your trunk box, we shall process your non-residential tax certificate which will prove that you are the rightful beneficiary of the fund; it will also clear you from tax payment on your contract fund upon the arrival of the cargo.
Note, our commercial Attache / Diplomat will contact you upon the arrival of your consignment before the delivery to your contact address where you will sign the recipient invoice and produce your identification before they hand over your cargo to you.
We wait your response accordingly.
Yours faithfully,
David Ferdinand
Director, Cash Payment Dept.
(a joke ); HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT JOB?
الثلاثاء، 19 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT JOB?
إزاي توظف الشخص المناسب في المكان المناسب
Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.
حط 100 طوبة في مكان مهم في غرفة مغلقة وشباك مفتوح
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.
وبعدين ابعت 2 أو 3 من المرشحين للوظيفة للغرفة وبعدين اقفل الباب
Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.
سيبهم لوحدهم وبعدين تعالى تاني بعد 6 ساعات وحلل موقفهم
If they are counting the Bricks.
Put them in the Accounts Department.
لو هم قعدوا يعدوا الطوب حطهم في الحسابات
If they are recounting them..
Put them in Auditing ..
لو هم عدوا الطوب وبيراجعوا العد حطهم في المراجعة
If they have messed up the whole place with the Bricks.
Put them in Engineering.
لو هم بعتروا الطوب في الاوضة كلها يبقوا مهندسين
If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in Planning.
لو هم رصوا الطوب بشكل غريب في الاوضة حطهم في التخطيط
If they are throwing the Bricks at each other.
Put them in Operations .
لو قعدوا يرموا الطوب على بعض حطهم في العمليات
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
لو ناموا حطهم في الامن
If they have broken the Bricks into pieces.
Put them in Information Technology.
لو كسروا الطوب كله لقطع صغيرة يبقوا من مركز المعلومات
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in Human Resources.
لو قعدوا مابيعملوش حاجة يبقوا في الموارد البشرية
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.
لو قالوا انهم حاولوا بكل الطرق بس الطوب زي ماهو ماتحركش
يبقوا من المبيعات
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in Marketing...
لو قاعدين مستنيين باقي اليوم يبقوا في التسويق
If they are staring out of the Window.
Put them on Strategic Planning..
لو قاعدين يبصوا من الشباك يبقوا في التخطيط طويل المدى
And then last but not leas t.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
وأخيراً وليس أخراً لو قاعدين يتكلموا مع بعض ومافيش طوبة اتحركت
Congratulate them and put them
In Top management
يبقى تهنيهم وتحطهم في الادارة العليا
CONFIDANT NEEDED
- - 0 Comments
Barrister Roger Scott
33 Bedford Row
London
WC1R 4JH
DX 75 Chancery Lane.
Dear Friend,
I am Mr. Roger Scott,an attorney with the above mentioned chambers in the United Kingdom, a personal attorney/confidant to Late Mr.Christian Eich.On Monday,28th July,
1995,I was appointed as a personal attorney/confidant to Mr.Christian Eich,(Late) an engineer who ran a carmaker BMW's museum and Business man of international repute.
Late Christian Eich before his death made a Deposit (Fixed) valued at Ј9,000,000.00 GBP ($14,651,648.38 USD) for twenty four(24) calendar months in one of the banks
here in the UNITED KINGDOM (Name witheld).Upon Maturity,the bank sent me a routine notification as his personal Attorney to present any of late Mr.Christian Eich NEXT
OF KIN or extented family since Christian Eich,57, his wife Andrea Eich,38, and their children Katharina,8, and Maximilian, 10,and entire family all perished in the
jet which crashed on Monday, 31 July 2000 into the Hotelissimo.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
After further investigation,been his personal Attorney/confidant, i discovered that his only Next of Kin were his wife Andrea and both kids who were also involved in
the crash.I also discovered that Late Mr.Late Christian Eich did not declare any other next of kin or relatives in all his official documents, including his Bank
Deposit paper work here in my custody except his wife Andrea and Kids who are all involved in the plane crash.
The total sum, Ј9,000,000.00 MILLION POUNDS ($14,651,648.38 US DOLLARS) is still in the bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of
each year.
All efforts to trace and locate any of his extended family proved abortive and in accordance with my country's banking laws and constitution guiding the banking
institution stated that after the expiration of 10(Ten)Years, if no body or person comes for the claim as the next of kin, such money will be revert to the Government
treasury if nobody applies as the next of Kin to claim the fund. Consequently, It is upon this respect, I SEEK TO PRESENT YOU AS THE FOREIGN PARTNER TO STAND IN AS
THE NEXT OF KIN to the late Mr.Christian Eich since no one will come up for the claim.
There is no risk involved at all in this matter, as we are going to adopt a legalized method and I will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe
utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue,however I would like to be sure of your willingness, trustworthiness and commitment to execute this transaction
with me,I cannot afford to compromise these virtues.
Considering the money involved,it is necessary for me to be sure of the person to whom I will be entrusting this transaction,my trust is not given out lightly, I need
to be convinced that you are a matured person with some intergrity.Furthermore, if we follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within 8 working
days.
What I expect from you is trust and commitment, I want this large sum of money transferred with your assistance into your country.
Upon acceptance of this proposal and as we progress i shall send to you by mail all the necessary documents as well as detailed information on how this deal would be
carried out,SO WE CAN INVEST IT FOR BOTH OF US IN YOUR COUNTRY UNDER YOUR WATCHFUL EYES.
I hope to hear from you as soon as possible as regarding your interest.
Kindest Regards,
Barr. Roger Scott.
نكت تاني
السبت، 16 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
اسلاك تليفونات وده دليل على ان التليفونات عندنا من 100 سنة فقام وحد اطالى وقال واحنا
حفرنا تحت برج بيزا ولقينا اسلاك تليفونات وده دليل على ان التليفونات عندنا من 500 سنة
فقام بلدياتنا وقال واحنا كمان حفرنا تحت الاهرمات و ملقناش حاجة خالص ودة دليل على ان من
50000 سنة كان عندنا المحمول .
| |
أم تسأل ولدها:
لو خيروك بين المال والعقل وش تختار ؟
الولد قال: المال
الام ابتسمت وقالت: أنا اختار العقل
الولد قال: والله كل واحد يختار اللي ناقصة
--------------------------------------
Mashakel-3atefeya.blogspot.com
المنحوس
الأربعاء، 13 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
كان فيه قردين ( محروس ومنحوس ) وكانت قدامهم حديقة بها شجرة موز .
في يوم من الأيام جاعوا فقالوا نروح نجيب شوية موز
أتفقوا إن محروس يطلع فوق الشجرة عشان يقطع الموز و يرميه لمنحوس
و منحوس واقف تحت يلم الموز و يراقب الطريق
و فجأة صاحب الحديقة آتى وكان معاه مساعدينه فقالهم
اضربوا القرد اللي تحت دة ( منحوس ) اللى عمال ياخد الموز
ويا عيني كلوه علقة سخنة و محروس أستنا لما مشيوا و نزل و القردين روحوا.
وتاني يوم جاعوا وراحوا نفس الحديقة وطلع محروس فوق ومنحوس تحت
وآتى صاحب الحديقة و معاه المساعدين
مسكوا مييييييييين طبعًا ( منحوس ) وبرضوا كلوه علقة سخنة ..... وروحوا.
وتالت يوم فيه المفاجأة
المرة دي جاعوا ولكن منحوس قال أنا لازم اللي أطلع فوق الشجرة و أنت يا محروس اللي تقف تحت
وافق محروس و وقف تحت
وكالعادة آتى صاحب الحديقة ومعه المساعدين و لسة هيضربو محروس
ولكن صاحب الحديقة قال لهم : ............ ......... .......... ......... ..
قال لهم :
اللي تحت ضربناه كتير أطلعوا بقى هاتوا اللي فوق دة كسرو عضمه............
NOKAT
الاثنين، 11 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
|
خليجية
الخميس، 7 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
وحده تسأل زوجها: إذا أنا مت شو بيصير فيك؟؟
قال اها: أصير مينون!
قالت: يعني ما راح تتزوج بعدي؟
قال لها: المينون كل شي يسويه!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
هندي أنسرق بيته وراح يشتكي للشرطة
قال له الضابط: ايش فيك؟
قال له: ثلاجة سرقوه، كنديشن سرقوه، زوليه سرقوه، فرن سرقوه..
قال له الضابط: عطني الزبده وخلصني؟؟
قال الهندي: زبده داخل فريزر، وفريزر بعد سرقوه!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
أثنين محششين فوق برج العرب، واحد منهم قال: لو أطيح كم يبيلي وأصقع الأرض؟
قال الثاني: ثلاث أيام..
قال: ظنك أموت ؟
قال: شي طبيعي ثلاث أيام لا أكل ولا شرب!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
واحد معه أرنب يبا يعرف هل هو ذكر والا أنثى؟
سأل محشش قال له المحشش:
قال اتركه إذا ركض فهو ذكر ، وإذا ركضت فهي أنثى!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
بخيل يدق على ولده باب الحمام يقوله
لاتسحب السيفون ... بدخل بعدك
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
بخيل حاط لوحه عالباب
لا تدق الجرس .. كل 5 دقائق افتح الباب
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
جمع أحد الحكماء أبناءه وهو في فراشه يحتضر، أعطى احدهم رمح وقال: حاول أن تكسره، فكسره بسهولة.. فأعطاه رمحين، فكسرهما بسهولة.. فأعطاه حزمة، فكسرها بسهولة.. فقال الأب لأولاده: دام معكم هالثور ما ينخاف عليكم!!
ومع ذلك الصعايدة أجدع ناس
الأحد، 3 يناير 2010 - - 0 Comments
|
الفرق بين المدير الغربي والمدير العربي
- - 0 Comments
|